RANSVESTIA

In the long, long night, by the lone firelight, while the huskies, 'round in a ring,

Howled out their woes to the homeless snows

how I loathed the thing.

O god!

And every day that quiet clay seemed to heavy and heavier grow; And on I went, though the dogs were spent and the grub

was getting low;

The trail was bad, and I felt half mad, but I swore

I would not give in;

And I'd often sing to the hateful thing, and it hearkened with a grin.

Till I came to the marge of Lake Labarge,

and a derelict boat there lay;

It was jammed in the ice, but I saw in a trice

it was called the "Alice May."

And I looked at it, and I though a bit, and I looked at my frozen chum; Then "Here," said I, with a sudden cry, "is my CRE-MA-TOR-EUM."

So I broke out that sack from the back of Sam's pack

and I dressed him in those clothes.

With corset in place so tightly laced and garters to hold up the hose; And wearing that dress Sam was more or less

the woman he'd yearned to be;

And when I was done I thought it's be fun

to name her Samantha McGee.

Then I did what I must with my sacred trust to put her to the fire. And I made my way to the "Alice May" to build the funeral pyre. Some planks I tore from the cabin floor, and I lit the boiler fire; Some coal I found that was lying around,

and I heaped the fuel still higher.

The flames just soared, and the furnace roared

such a blaze you seldom see;

And I burrowed a hole in the glowing coal

and I stuffed in Miss McGee.

Well, she sizzled so, and gave off a glow,

as the flames licked the hem of her dress.

I knew I should stay, but I turned away; too frightened I must confess.

Then I made a hike, for I didn't like to hear her sizzle so;